Here is a thing I want to talk about: The day I went to the dentist WHICH I HATE AND HATE AND HATE.
I think I’ve spoken of this before. I hate going to the dentist.
Anyway, it couldn’t be avoided so I went. First thing they asked me was what show I was wanted to watch. Last time I picked some sitcom and then there were extended sexual jokes ringing throughout the office as I sat there with peoples’ hands in my mouth and I wanted to say, Turn it off. This is uncomfortable. But I couldn’t because their hands were in mouth.
So this time I picked a cooking show–the barefoot contessa to be exact. I have never watched this show but I have her cookbooks and I didn’t think it could get racy unless she cooked naked which I have heard is a thing, btw. So they put on the show. I was incredibly tense because that’s how I am at the dentist so I was watching the show as hard as I could so I wouldn’t be distracted by the hygienist yelling out numbers about my gums.
Here’s the thing about that show: Ina Garten kept saying that her friends were stuck in traffic coming in from the city and they were supposed to be hosting a dinner party so she agreed to cook for them because she owes them. Then they cut to her friends on the freeway saying, “We are so so late. This traffic is awful. We are so glad Ina said she’d cook something. It will be awesome. I cant’ believe we are stuck in traffic.”
Here’s my thing. Why is this the premise of the show? We know they’re all lying. How did they get the camera crews at her house and in her friends’ car so they could say how late they are? Why doesn’t she just do a cooking show? It felt very very fake and contrived and almost got me mad enough to forget the horrible stuff in my mouth that I was trying not to swallow and then I wondered can you die from not swallowing? Maybe. But back to the show, it was horrible story-telling. Really horrible.
I’ve read this in books. When the heart of the book is buried under silly things. Maybe the author is trying to be clever. Or maybe they are trying to teach us a lesson about friendship. Or maybe they think it’s boring if they don’t put in a bunch of extras.
Here’s what I want to see: The cooking. The meat of the story. I want that to be the focus. I want everything else, all the scenes and dialogue and descriptions that have NOTHING TO DO WITH braised beef or whatever she was making (there was a plum crumble that looked fantastic) to go away. It’s distracting and makes me lose focus. I could hardly concentrate and therefore I will never go back and finish the episode.
Also I had no cavities this time.
The end.« Dear November